Friday, October 31, 2014

Being a Special Needs Parent=Awesome

I have to share something.

Yesterday Gommy had hippotherapy. He's been three times, and each time things have gotten better and better. The first time he got on the horse he screamed almost the entire time. The second time less screaming--but still some screaming.

This time no screaming. In fact not only was there no screaming, there was sheer delight on his face and a huge amount of fun. He did so well that the therapists decided to end the session because they knew he'd be tired...not because he was tired...but because he was going to be tired. He was still doing fine but they were worried about how tired he'd be...even though he was genuinely happy. He rode a horse for 45 minutes straight. 45 MINUTES YO.

And to give you an idea of why that's a huge deal, 45 minutes on a horse is basically the best abdominal workout he's ever had. He had to stabilize his core. He had to hold his head up (granted he did all that with support from the therapists and their assistants), but he had to do so much work...and he nailed it. Absolutely nailed it.

Being a special needs parent is tough, but man there are moments of sheer brilliance and fantasticness. The best part of the entire experience is that you get to learn with your kid about what they are capable of...you start off with this perspective of "well I'm not sure what he'll be able to do" and then you find out "HOLY ISH YOU CAN DO THAT? THAT'S FREAKING AWESOME". Milestones are no longer boxes on a checklist. They are mountains climbed and worthy of huge celebrations. Tiny little things like him kneeling down in front of a toy, holding himself in that kneeling position and playing with it become the best damn things that you've seen all day.

The lows might be low, but my goodness. The highs are so incredibly incredibly high.

I'm a better parent because of Gommy. I look at Vinny and I marvel at everything that he does. I marvel at how well he's doing and how happy he is. With all of the milestone questions at a doctors appointment you sometimes forget just how big of a deal things like talking in sentences, and eating table foods are. You forget the magic associated with crawling/walking stuff like that--I mean your kid taught themselves to move on their own!! That's REMARKABLE! But in those appointments they are just boxes on a checklist.

Being a special needs parent is wonderful because the boxes on those checklist represent hours of work, tears, and frustration. But damn when you get to check one off holy hell it's great. Which means that when you check them off for your other kids internally you have fireworks going off as to how fantastic it was.

Maybe riding a horse for 45 minutes isnt on anybody's checklist...but that's the beauty of it. The checklist doesnt matter because while the paradigm on special needs might be "what might he not be able to do" this is a glowing example of "holy crap I never knew he could do that!"

Being a special needs parent is the best. The absolute best.