an update on SDR--st. louis here we come

a little over a year ago we applied for gommy to be a candidate for selective dorsal rhizotomy surgery in st. louis. we were pretty devastated when we were rejected. at the time we had put a ton of hope into the possibilities that that surgery could provide--a life with lessened spasticity and increased mobility...and to get turned down was as if someone was saying that we werent allowed to ever have those things.

well a year later we put together a new application...complete with new videos and paperwork...and lo and behold we were accepted. not only were we accepted but the doctor told us how pleased he was with dominic's progress and indicated that he could see no reason at all that dominic wouldnt walk independently at some point.

read that again. the doctor thinks dominic will walk independently. HE THINKS DOMINIC WILL WALK INDEPENDENTLY AS A RESULT OF THIS SURGERY. i want to cry just thinking about it.

D and i are yin and yang. what she stresses out about i'm typically perfectly ok with and whatever i stress out she's perfectly ok with. D has no fear as it relates to this surgery...and me...well i'm not quite there. we know that this is what needs to happen and a few hours of surgery combined with a few months of intense physical therapy is a small price to pay for a lifetime of freedom.

however i'm trying to channel my inner kevin mccalister by saying "this is it...dont get scared now". i am terrified  to send my sweet gommy going into a spinal surgery. he's been sedated before....but it's that lack of control that lack of ability to be with him every step of the way. it's so cliche to say but i wish they would just say "hey we can do the surgery on you and he'll reap the benefits". man i'd sign up for that 10 times over. or perhaps if they said "well research shows us that if we cut off the dad's right hand it's basically the same as SDR" i'd respond with "great, at least now i'll spend less time on twitter"

but alas none of that is the way that things work. so right now i'm drawing from the strength of d and gommy. they are way stronger and way tougher than i am. i'll get there. but i might just have to fake it for a while.

the journey starts on March 11th with a drive to St. Louis and the surgery itself is scheduled for march 15. a day where d and i are able to put wheels into motion to hopefully give gommy a bit more freedom and maybe few more possibilities than he would have had otherwise.

time to get my mind right. we'll be ready.