And so it is...

Life goes easy on me...most of the time.

I don't even really know where to start.  My feelings are all over the place depending on when you talk to me.  Sometimes I think Gommy is going to grow up the same as other kids do.  Sometimes I think that is me being in denial, others that its just me being positive.  No one tells you how to feel in this situation.  I don't think there is anything that I have done in my life that I haven't watched someone else do before me.  Think about it, having kids is something that most people are nervous or scared about.  You have likely watched someone (and everyone) do it for twenty something years before you even attempt it for yourself.  I am going to do something that I have never watched anyone do before me.  Part of me is proud of that.  Part of me feels special.  Part of me feels chosen.  Part of me feels lonely.  I just joined the most exclusive club that nobody wants to join.  I am a special needs mom.

There are some things that I feel are necessary to add to Poppa's post.  They are the scariest things that anyone has said to me, and I think it is important to disclose what our sweet Gommy is facing.  Only so that he gets the credit he deserves when he overcomes all that he will, whatever that looks like. 

Our neurologist said he will have physical limitations, he may have "mental retardation" (which is an ugly word I chose to never use again), and possibly seizures.  He called the damage and the abnormalities "substantial".  He told us he did not know if Gommy would be able to live a normal life.  He did give us some hope however, he said that looking at Gommy, he did not match up with his MRI scans.  I chose to take that as what Gommy has already accomplished is miraculous.  What he continues to accomplish will be even more miraculous.

Its funny, because Gommy appears to be very intelligent at this point, but only time will tell what his special little brain is truly capable of.  I truly believe that Gommy will continue to amaze us.  He sat up for about 30 seconds at a time today completely unassisted!  At this point, he has not actually missed any milestones, he is just not as strong at his skills as your average baby.  He has two wonderful therapists and a chiropractor already.  So far every concern that we have had, he has been able to overcome in a couple of weeks.  He is truly an amazing person and the happiest baby you will ever meet.  I cannot even begin to describe the joy this little man has already brought into our lives.

One of the things Poppa said to me soon after we found out, was that everyone has something to overcome.  His example was that he had extreme nearsightedness.  My example was that some people are ugly.  I have always said that I am raising my boys to be good looking, so they can always get what they want out of life.  That hasn't changed.

When God chose me to be part of this higher calling, I hope He knew what He was getting in to.