"what are you expecting?"

both twisty and i are blessed with supportive parents. case in point is that my mom has worked her connections with pediatric neurologists and geneticists at her place of work to get us more information, and twisty's dad is letting us use frequent flyer miles to pay for our trip to seattle. not to mention the countless appointments twisty's mom has covered for us, and the millions of times she's driven to our house to help us. we are truly blessed with supportive and loving parents.

one thing that i'm sensing as a common theme...well it emerged again today. twisty is in the process of getting us an appointment with a homeopathic doctor in houston, which is cool. another set of eyes to evaluate gommy and more stuff to help. yay. i told my mom that and her first question was "well...what are you expecting out of this appointment?"

i say this as a theme because others have asked us the same thing once we got our appointment at the Dobyns clinic in seattle.

"what are you expecting?"
"i dont want you to be disappointed"
"just know that you're already doing everything you can"

some sort of variety on that theme.

truth be told, twisty and i arent expecting much. we're expecting to ask the same questions to a different group of folks and maybe we'll get different answers out of it that we can say "huh...that's interesting" and go on with our lives.

we're not expecting a miracle "cure" of some sorts. in some instances, we're expecting to create a network fo doctors to help support gommy (and tooties for that matter) as they get older.

but (and i can only speak on behalf of myself here--but i think twisty would agree)...i have this innate desire to feel like i'm doing everything that i humanly, physically, and emotionally can to support my son. and these folks are helping me get more information on how i can do that...so i'm not anxious, good lord no...i get excited about the possibility of talking to a homeopathic doctor. i loved hearing more about cranial sacral therapy from his chiropractor today. i'm THRILLED to go see dr. dobyns in september. i'm not sad that i have to do this...i'm blessed beyond belief that i GET to do this.

isnt that what parenting is? to devote your life to your kids? my spirit is made up of a holy trinity of twisty gommy and tooties...and these appointments mean i get to focus on a core part of who i am. i genuinely mean it when i say that if a doctor said "hey poppa, there might be something that could help gommy in your left pinky, but we'd need to cut it off in order to check it out", i wouldnt hesitate in the slightest bit and immediately go buy a new pair of gloves.

there are no expectations here...except expectations that twisty and i have on ourselves to do everything...EVERYTHING...in our power to support, nurture, and love our sons. these appointments are just an extension of those feelings, those emotions...that innate desire to do everything that we can.

God put me on this earth to be a husband to twisty and a father to tooties and gommy. My expectations are to meet His expectations by fulfilling my role.